Anyway, this afternoon, I am sharing bits and pieces of myself with you. After some hard thinking, I have come to the conclusion that I am the ish. I am actually what women want. I mean, over the years, I've created a checklist based on what my female friends (who I think wanted me all this time but signed a treaty to all leave off)have said and allow me to finally present the official guide to what women (and girls) want.
Disclaimer: If some of the guidelines strike you as impossible, please remember that this is ME (the guy that women want)
1. Women like guys who drive automatic cars
This automatically disqualifies expensive sports car owners, taxi drivers and a few friends of mine. Why this peculiar behaviour from the females of our species? I have the answer...it boils down to multi-tasking (forget all the management theory they taught you in school). Multi-tasking means being able to do everything else and keep a conversation running while you drive. No grunting and huffing while you drive eg. I think
2. Women like guys who work from dining tables
There's nothing as sexy as a guy working at a dining table, ask my wife, and she is an authority on sexy men, she lives with one 24/7. Anyway, as I was saying before I started blowing my vuvuzela, chicks absolutely love dining table guys. U know what it shows? Once again, that word, multi-tasking. If you can work at the table at which you eat, who knows what you can do on the bed in which you sleep. This is common sense and I really wonder how sharp all you guys out there are. I mean, it took me a while to figure this out and I've just given it to you on a silver platter. I am a philanthropist (which brings me to my next point)
3. Women love philanthropists
This is true. No woman likes Bill Gates (or me) for his money. Women like men who like to give and keep giving and giving and giving. Ok, this sound lewd but it's my blog and my mind has since left its gutter days behind (unlike you, yeah you, stop turning your gu head, I mean you with the spectacles and the ka bald spot <-- apply applicable description). CAUTION: Do not give money to beggars while in a woman's sight. It only makes you look like an easy target, only give money to rich people. Now, rich people did not get rich by giving money away so they are only too happy to get free money from you e.g. Yo! Sudhir, lunch is on me today. Just pick your spot. Guaranteed, if you feed Sudhir, Kirumira and uncle Kutesa while she can see you, it's a wrap. You now have a dedicated follower. This woman will do anything for you. "Go buy me socks," and she'll deliver them and help you wear them. "Take off your ear rings," and she'll take them off. "Take off your sweater," you know what will happen.
There are a total of 5671 rules to ensure you ensnare the woman(en) of your dreams. If you analyse me, you'll probably find like 5000, the other 671 I have to tell you. I am a working man so I gotta go. Peace out, Jah bless, Shalom and catch you on the rebound. You have your women only coz I don't want them. As earlier said, I am a philanthropist.
P.s
If you are wondering about the title, it's a term used to refer to a situation where something alive is passing away eg the taxi passawed the dog.
