To Keira

Hey Keira,

I miss you so much. Tonight I am like the saddest former father ever. You were so young and so pretty and you'd just learnt how to not disturb your daddy. Why the fuck you have to leave so soon. How the hell am I supposed to recover from all this pain that I am feeling? I survive day after day, pretend everything is okay and humor will heal me eventually. It's been a year and humor or anything hasn't done sh*t so far. I am sadder than I've ever been before. I am crying and crying and I doubt I'll ever stop. If you've lost someone really close to you, you know what I am talking about. RIP Keira Kanyana Wanyenze, I am gon miss you for the rest of my life. Damn! I am gon miss you for as long as I am me. I know you probably looking down and wondering why your daddy's crying. Babe, I am crying coz you are not my baby anymore, apparently, you someone else baby now. No more holding you or playing songs from the playlist you used to fall asleep to. It's done. We can't chill in the couch anymore while you listen to stories I made up just for you.

I am so sad. Tomorrow is a fucking public holiday and I just don't give a f*ck. I miss you and love you so much I don't know what to do. Damn! I even learnt to change your diapers. All these tears, this dehydration is really not for you. It's for me, you're probably very pleased wherever you are. I just can't help thinking about how it would have been now. You, a year old, just saying your first words...me teaching you how to call people lumpens and hooligans and how to say sorry before they start beating you up :-) I gotta run now. I love you, I love you a lot. Try not to get into any trouble now. Although, if the punishment for getting into trouble is getting sent back to earth, get into a lot of trouble. I am gonna miss you a lot. Love ya.

P.s.
I still have your playlist on my notebook. One day perhaps, we'll waltz to it again. I miss you.

Love,
Your daddy.