Good morning world, I am going to be a father. No joking, I am going to be a bona fide daddy. My wife has been pregnant for, I dunno, eight months or something and clearly the endgame has begun. I woke up at 7am today to go see rooms/wards at the hospital and it hit me. Hit me like a man between sledge hammer and a hard place. It amazing how after nearly three decades, you think you've seen it all...

Anyway, just in case you are expecting your first baby like moi and you're still having fun, BE NICE 2 YR WIFE!! You'll need the support when you walk into the hospital. Yeah yeah, you are the guy (not pregnant, instigator of the pregnancy, possible father etc) but the sober color and ambience (?) of the labor ward will reduce you to jelly. "so you are the father, ehh?" asks the midwife. Fool, what do I look like, the baby??? No one said that but I think that would be my response. Nerves, nerves...

On a better note though, I am thankful and excited about the next next president of America, he'll be born somewhere around August 25 and I can't wait. I am sure my tummy toting wife is tired and wonders what her knees look like nowadays. Sometimes, I show her mine for old times sake. Not that they are anything like hers but patella is patella. We make do with what I have :-)

Once, twice, thrice, frice, fronce, froth... how the hell do you say "the fourth time"? English is so inadequate sometimes. Do they have a word for guys who park badly? A wheel with no wheel cap? A rhino on a rampage? Nah, no real new words in a while. Blog is not an english word...argue all you like, provide references, when you done, put your evidence in a bowl, add some milk, a banana and EAT it. My uncle has been teaching English for aeons and he doesn't know what blogging is. He probably thinks I am trying to say bogging, which means a whole new thing altogether. He learnt to speak English from an ENGLISH man so his credentials are not in doubt. When you learn MAD from a ...man, you know you got the real shiznit. Ante natal is done, gotta run. You good people have a nice day.

ps
Tweet is an english word. It has nothing to do with the futyscking internet.

pps
In case you were wondering, the words are badparknista (pl. badparknistae) nudewheel (pl. nudewheels) and tazrhino (pl. tazrhinoes)