Good morning world, I am going to be a father. No joking, I am going to be a bona fide daddy. My wife has been pregnant for, I dunno, eight months or something and clearly the endgame has begun. I woke up at 7am today to go see rooms/wards at the hospital and it hit me. Hit me like a man between sledge hammer and a hard place. It amazing how after nearly three decades, you think you've seen it all...
Anyway, just in case you are expecting your first baby like moi and you're still having fun, BE NICE 2 YR WIFE!! You'll need the support when you walk into the hospital. Yeah yeah, you are the guy (not pregnant, instigator of the pregnancy, possible father etc) but the sober color and ambience (?) of the labor ward will reduce you to jelly. "so you are the father, ehh?" asks the midwife. Fool, what do I look like, the baby??? No one said that but I think that would be my response. Nerves, nerves...
On a better note though, I am thankful and excited about the next next president of America, he'll be born somewhere around August 25 and I can't wait. I am sure my tummy toting wife is tired and wonders what her knees look like nowadays. Sometimes, I show her mine for old times sake. Not that they are anything like hers but patella is patella. We make do with what I have :-)
Once, twice, thrice, frice, fronce, froth... how the hell do you say "the fourth time"? English is so inadequate sometimes. Do they have a word for guys who park badly? A wheel with no wheel cap? A rhino on a rampage? Nah, no real new words in a while. Blog is not an english word...argue all you like, provide references, when you done, put your evidence in a bowl, add some milk, a banana and EAT it. My uncle has been teaching English for aeons and he doesn't know what blogging is. He probably thinks I am trying to say bogging, which means a whole new thing altogether. He learnt to speak English from an ENGLISH man so his credentials are not in doubt. When you learn MAD from a ...man, you know you got the real shiznit. Ante natal is done, gotta run. You good people have a nice day.
ps
Tweet is an english word. It has nothing to do with the futyscking internet.
pps
In case you were wondering, the words are badparknista (pl. badparknistae) nudewheel (pl. nudewheels) and tazrhino (pl. tazrhinoes)
8 comments:
Gwe, just so you know I have to give your kido a name, I think he or she will end up with about 10 or so.
You sound like it's going to be a lot of fun reading you. Will be back. Oh, and congratulations, almost-daddy. :)
this was a nice read! very engaging! I would go with FROTH. sounds right in my head.
Also congs on his almost excellency. Or her. Oh and Kudos for being there for your pregnat wife! when i grow up, i wil be looking for a brotha like you
First time here
Pleas, badparknista has such a nice ring to it. I'll use it as often as possible but it also sounds like a member of a terrorist group, i.e 'HALLO, VE ARE ZE BADPARKNISTA, VE WILL BOMB YOU,'Oh well, it still sound nice. Ciao
I love your writing style man...Nice. August 25th is a good time to be born..and i am just making that up. Oh,please open up ur comments for us non-conventional commenters(non-wordpress, non-blogspot) to drop comments in our 'raw' states...
First time here...Agree with the rest: Nice read...Its Aug 14th, how is it going so far?
piece of advice, don't be in the maternity ward when she is giving birth. once felt supportive for a friend of mine and i felt like i was in enemy territory. All women look at you with eyes filled with .... (no word for it).thats when the men sitting outside made sense. Odawise congs on becoming a dad
Abid was IN the maternity ward? Nice piece, but Abid....
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