Once upon a time, in a land far far away from Uganda, a man once lived. He was a confused man, then he died and it was crazy sad for a long time. Eventually, everybody forgot about him except me; and you know the worst thing? This post has absolutely nothing to do with this man, for he is long dead and no one remembers him anyway. It's been a while and hundreds of paradigm shifts in my outlook; nowadays I write not to annoy but to thrill,excite and of course, educate those poor people who StumbleUpon this page.
Wait, stop and inhale...and inhale...and inhale. Now, stop inhaling and do push-ups for just 60 seconds. Now exhale, how do you feel? Did I mention you should do all this while whispering "haaallo haaallo haaallo," with your eyes open and an audience. How do you feel now? This is what I've spent my two year hiatus developing. It comprises a set of workouts designed to develop your internal organs with special emphasis on the stuff loitering in your abdominal cavity. Seen any "Gain bigger kidneys and pancreas" ads on UMEME's poles recently? Yeah, that's me doing my thing; re-inventing the hustle for the frustrated businessmen and bafere of Uganda. I have a dream that one day, organbuilding will be an Olympic sport and I, Mufere, will be heralded eternally like that great greek athelete, Pissppidispisisiss of the marathon fame.
If you have made it this far, just scroll down to the bottom and buy my DVD set already. You are a visionary and deserve pioneer status in this great new frontier in human development that I am pioneering. Do you aspire to be fitter than your athletic, metal pumping idols, run a half marathon faster than your dad this November? Build those kidneys and that appendix, get that porous stomach wall fixed, get your stomach cavity in shape and parade it majestically when you die. Nobody will ever forget you, you, Sentongo of the liver the size of a laptop, you'll be immortalized like . Presidents will come to see you off as they cart you off in two hearses. "He was a great liver of life," they will say as the Vatican makes plans for your sainthood.
So, that little workout a couple of paragraphs up was gratis. The DVD set is not, I am taking orders now.
Looking forward to your enthusiastic purchases of the set and reseller plans.
Mufere, project coordinator,
LivelyLivers International, Uganda Chapter.
Wait, stop and inhale...and inhale...and inhale. Now, stop inhaling and do push-ups for just 60 seconds. Now exhale, how do you feel? Did I mention you should do all this while whispering "haaallo haaallo haaallo," with your eyes open and an audience. How do you feel now? This is what I've spent my two year hiatus developing. It comprises a set of workouts designed to develop your internal organs with special emphasis on the stuff loitering in your abdominal cavity. Seen any "Gain bigger kidneys and pancreas" ads on UMEME's poles recently? Yeah, that's me doing my thing; re-inventing the hustle for the frustrated businessmen and bafere of Uganda. I have a dream that one day, organbuilding will be an Olympic sport and I, Mufere, will be heralded eternally like that great greek athelete, Pissppidispisisiss of the marathon fame.
If you have made it this far, just scroll down to the bottom and buy my DVD set already. You are a visionary and deserve pioneer status in this great new frontier in human development that I am pioneering. Do you aspire to be fitter than your athletic, metal pumping idols, run a half marathon faster than your dad this November? Build those kidneys and that appendix, get that porous stomach wall fixed, get your stomach cavity in shape and parade it majestically when you die. Nobody will ever forget you, you, Sentongo of the liver the size of a laptop, you'll be immortalized like . Presidents will come to see you off as they cart you off in two hearses. "He was a great liver of life," they will say as the Vatican makes plans for your sainthood.
So, that little workout a couple of paragraphs up was gratis. The DVD set is not, I am taking orders now.
Looking forward to your enthusiastic purchases of the set and reseller plans.
Mufere, project coordinator,
LivelyLivers International, Uganda Chapter.
