Whizzy whizzy bang bang

My title is catchy, no? Say it out loud in your office as you read this. Say it many times, wwbbx20, add a cool reggae beat and nod your your while your boss talks at you. Now you have an idea for a really cool song that I want nothing to do with. People, I have problems. No, you say, how could you have problems? Problems are what Gaddafi (the former president rather than the formerly muslim singer formerly known by the same monicker), the boda guys who got lynched and my tribesmen in Bududa have. You, you have minor inconveniences. These are the things most of the people I try to tell my stuff tell me back. So I am going to tell you my problems in order of magnitude.

1. Writer's block

Were you ever in a situation where you were watching the matrix and then you died? Poor Neo is stuck at a 90 degree angle to the ground. Stuck in the act of dodging agent Smith's bullet. You, you are dead so no one is going to un-pause the One and he'll be stuck there forever. In the meantime, gravity, the nemesis of cool moves like so, is gently exerting 9.8m/s² to the back of his ka head. Disused muscles atrophying in positions they were never meant to, man, movies suffer. This analogy should be applied directly to the drafts sitting in this blogspot account. They have been paused, never to be completed; at least by me. You know that stuff where the point of the point is lost in the analogy supposed to illustrate it. This is one of those situations. Me, I have written! If you have the time to sift through this kasasiro for points, go on and waste your life.

2. Online Currency Trading

Mehn!!! I learnt this word from a younger relative of mine. Apparently, "Man" is old school. I have to agree, look it ->meehhhn<- (I don't know how to punctuate this sentence after the hyphen so I'll just keep typing, I won't even close this bracket. You can't deny the versatility of this word, it's like a one size fits all version of that old school word that I'll never use again. It's simultaneously singular and plural; Mehhhn=a flock of God. For all intents and purposes, it's the same situation. If I have lost you, you have no business here, vamoose! You silly goose. Kati, this point is also lost, when I find some time to waste on talking about currency trading, I'll squeeze it in somewhere.

3. Rising inflation

I hate the way everyone is blaming inflation for all sorts of things. Man, that kyana ate all my dime. Why? Mbu, inflation! She ate your dime because you wanted to give it to her. The dime, I mean. Do you want to fight inflation? Stop harassing government, I hear walk to work, walk to kitchen, walk to kitchen etc. STOP WASTING MONEY. Here's my investment plan so you never have to suffer this inflation animal again. Buy a cow, grow peas in the parking lot, rice in the bath tub and some apples next to the fridge. You have a toilet so biogas should not be a problem. Problem solved. NO SPENDING=NO INFLATION. This blog has sorted out a problem that the central of many countries have failed to deal with. Power to me.

4. Bad Black

In the beginning, there was the word, and the word was BLACK. Mehhn, that was those days when the word "duck" meant living in your house and it was okay to ask your date where she put up. Nowadays, mbu pink is the new black - now this rubbish has no place in a serious post like this but a meehn gotta keep up with the times...and what's up with this kyana called bad black. If she was so baddd (another old school word), why the hell doesn't she go all the way, call herself evil black or infernal black or eldritch black <- i like this one.

In other news, my daughter (who is very beautiful and sweet - in the fashion of her mother) is ill. Kindly put in a quiet prayer for her before you go to bed tonight, or tomorrow. Y'all stay sawa, meeehhn!

Always,

Mufere

P.s

This post was supposed to examine THE junction as a spot to inebriate your person and socialize with other mindless fans of UBL/EABL/Tyson/Bad Black but I've not been there in a while. Mark might just have thrown a swimming pool and spa somewhere in there. So until I pass by again, you'll hear nothing from me...on the junction only.